Dita Von Teese hairstylesDita Von Teese, you are a hair goddess. I have never seen your hair anything but immaculate. And more than that, I have never seen anyone maintain a slightly left-of-center style with such dedication and so perfectly before.

Your hairstyle is so stylishly retro. Always. I particularly like your ‘do in the picture here. It’s medium length and pulled over to one side to show off your eyes and classy accessories. Your locks have been set in curls for a wavy effect with lots of body and height, and their jet black color is striking.

Your hair’s the perfect complement to your burlesque image. You define burlesque as a strip performance that puts the “tease” back into strip tease. Importantly too, it’s a performance inseparable from its original 1940s context, and as a result it depends on a certain kind of vintage glamour wardrobe and hair.

Your clothes are impeccably burlesque. True to their origins they usually consist of multiple layers of stockings, corsets and various frills, designed to be laced and unlaced, added and removed (if not literally, then in one’s imagination). Your dedication to maintaining your burlesque image is tireless- you’re so burlesque it’s like you just stepped out of a time machine from the past. I saw a photo of you once at a music festival and you even managed to rustle together a more casual burlesque “summer” outfit.

I bet you even wear 1940s style burlesque jim-jams to bed at night, complete with fluffy burlesque bunny ear slippers.