How Your Attitude Affects You Finding Your New Hairstyle
By Roy on 4 June 2009
Although we might not realize it, our attitude towards a new hairstyle and whether we think we deserve one or not plays an important role when trying to find a new hairstyle. If you've been having trouble making the choice between a style, or whether to have your hair changed at all, it may actually be your attitude that is holding you back.
Your Attitude: I Deserve To Have A New Hairstyle
Well of course you deserve to have a new hairstyle! It's good to see that you feel this way. A new hairstyle will make you feel even better about yourself, refreshed and new, and this will obviously have a positive result with anybody that is around you such as your spouse, family, or friends.
How It Affects You Finding Your New Hairstyle: Such a positive attitude will ensure that you will find the hairstyle that you want and deserve!
Your Attitude: I Deserve A New Hairstyle, But Only After Everyone Else's Needs And Wants Are Met First
It's nice to see that you are a very caring and responsible person. There are for sure many things that are more important than receiving a new hairstyle. There's mortgage repayments, food cost, school fees, health care costs, motor vehicle expenses, power and water, just to name a few. These things I classify as needs. They are all important things that need constant attention and addressing or else problems will occur. For most people it's a struggle to just stay on top of their needs. Why else would you go to work or take that second job? It's all because you have commitments to meet, perhaps dependants to provide for, and as a responsible person you set out to accomplish this goal. But now let's move over to the second part of the question where the word wants is used, "Everyone else's wants first before yours". Wants are different to needs. I classify them as being things that are not necessary or needed for short term survival. Things that include alcohol, tobacco, games, gambling, music, entertainment, new clothes and even new hairstyles etc. So wants can make people feel better? Well sorry about the English lesson but what I am trying to drive home here is so long as it's not at the expense or depriving the needs of others, than it's okay to do things that make you feel better. What you are telling me on the other hand is that you will not indulge yourself or feel better until everybody else's wants are fulfilled first? Why? Aren't you entitled to the same as everyone else?
I believe that:
- Everybody has a right to do and experience things that make them happy
- An individual cannot continually rely on getting their pleasure from only seeing everyone else happy all of the time (the doormat syndrome) this kind of subconscious suppression can lead to other symptoms such as poor health
- If you occasionally indulge in things (a new hairstyle) that make you feel better, then this has a positive effect on you and everyone around you. Your wants are just as important as everyone else's. How you feel affects you and everyone else around you
How It Affects You Finding Your New Hairstyle: You need to give yourself more credit and put your wants on the same table as everyone else. You are just as important and deserve what everyone else does. Remember how you feel affects not only you but everyone else around you.
Your Attitude: I Really Don't Deserve To Have A New Hairstyle
So you do not deserve to have a new hairstyle! Can I be so bold as to ask you why you don't deserve a new hairstyle? Actually you should ask yourself that question along with a few others such as what have you done wrong that deserves this kind of negative self talk and attitude? Who have you hurt or injured lately, or God forbid, killed? Have you come up with any good answers yet? I will bet that you haven't! It's absolute nonsense to believe that you don't deserve a new hairstyle. What you are saying is that you don't deserve to feel good about yourself. You need to understand that what we are dealing with here is your current emotional state of mind that believes that you are not important and undeserving of a simple thing such as a new hairstyle that could quite probably make you feel better. You are not alone in feeling this way; there are many people all over the world that think the very same way as you.
What my advice to you is, try and understand why you feel this way. Is it because of:
- Years of self neglect where you actually now believe you are worthless? When people listen to their inner dialogue and they constantly hear this negative recording that tells them how unworthy they are of happiness over and over, in time it becomes a frightening reality. What your inner thoughts are dictate your behavior and state of mind.
- Years of mental abuse where other people around you have made you feel that you are not worthy of happiness? If you have people around you telling you that you are not worthy of happiness then I say they are abusing you emotionally. First of all, who are they? Are they so perfect? What gives them the right to treat you this way when they are really only equal to you? Just the fact that they want to control your thoughts and behavior makes them manipulative and deceitful at the very least. Who made them God? Guess what, you did! Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt.
- A bad past experience that you have not yet dealt with? There could be some bad things that happened to you a long time ago that now makes you feel unworthy of any self gratification or happiness. If this is the case, then you should seek professional help to deal with the problem. The first step is to acknowledge that you do have a problem that is causing you distress, then to seek the proper help. Only then can you start to think and feel positive about yourself.
- A partner that made you feel guilty whenever you actually did something for yourself?
You are being emotionally manipulated by being made to feel guilty when all that you want is very normal. I have two questions to ask you. Does your partner ever do anything for themselves? And even if they don't, does that mean you can't either? Who made them the boss of your emotions and needs? You did of course. By agreeing and behaving the way you have, you have in effect given them this power and control. You need to sit down and re-negotiate what you want.
How It Affects You Finding Your New Hairstyle: You need to question yourself and then try to understand why you feel that you don't deserve a new hairstyle. You do deserve a new hairstyle. Unfortunately, unless you sort out your negative inner feelings, a new hairstyle will probably only make you feel guilty and unhappy once it's done.
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